Fishing Management and Your Hubby By The Missus

Fishing management is the art of balancing fishing with married life. It can be done, happy Fisho ,and happy Missus. With patience and good handling, the wood can be chopped, the lawns mowed and the house painted without divorce. Lets face it, most females don't share the fishing obsession, but you can make it work.

When involved in a relationship with a fisherman, it is important to understand a few basic facts about Fishos, and to have a fishing management plan. The first and foremost rule is the understanding of priorities. On fine still days - no matter that the lawn hasn’t been mowed for a month - the boat must go out. The mother-in-laws seventieth birthday just happens to fall on the only calm moonless night on a rising tide in months on a comp, no contest, after all, what is turning seventy on the priorities list against the possibilities of catching a twenty pound snapper off the rocks.

Everyone has heard the old joke about the fisherman advertising for a good woman - must cook, clean and have boat and motor, please send a photo of boat and motor. Not so far from the truth really, at any good ole Kiwi BBQ the Missusess will be inside as the Fishos cluster around the boat swapping yarns. The lucky hostess will get the famous one liner 'Yeah great barbie Sherl' and the Fisho will then proceed to talk non stop to his fellow Fishos about the best weigh points on the new GPS.

The partners of Fishos fall into two basic categories, the accepter, and the yet to be trained accepter. This Missus was trained early and quickly at the start and so discovered the key to a successful marriage with three partners - husband, wife, and fish.

Introducing The Brownie Point System. Basically it's the old 'you scratch my back I’ll scratch yours. The Missus stifles her disappointment at the lawns not being mowed yet again but makes a deal, ok Fisho gets to go fishing from early morning to mid afternoon, but instead of watching the rugby on his return, has to mow the lawn. He gets to go fishing, the lawns get mowed and the missus doesn’t have to watch the rugby = everyone happy.This only works with totally fishing obsessed Fishos, throw a rugby maniac into the mix and the lawn still won’t be mowed!

A scenario and management plan : The special day is planed in great detail, a romantic picnic at the beach and finishing the night in a luxury hotel. The big tenth wedding anniversary day just happens to fall on a perfectly still, slightly overcast day, the south coast is like glass and boats are flocking out to sea. A sheepish face turns towards the Missus after a quick look out the window at the perfect conditions. “Sweetie, you already know how much I love you, could, would, um well the situation is like this........

Now this is where the brownie points system kicks in, the Missus smiles sweetly, “Oh how wonderful, what your saying is the weather is perfect for our special wonderful day together, and, oh yes, I love you!” The Missus's face shines with love in an Oscar winning performance, knowing full well what is coming.

 “Er yes sweetie but um”- typical Fisho, too chicken to just spit it out- “well it's just such a perfect day. It's the once a year day of perfect conditions and (big gulp) well can I please go out in the boat fishing? I promise I will make it up to you, honestly anything, anything at all”

The brownie points calculator is working overtime in the Missus brain as the Missus face droops with disappointment and in pitiful voice replies “Oh OK if you really feel that you must , well it's ok with me” (Yep, that’s got to be worth at least fifty points on the scale, it will cost big time!)

“Really? Oh you are the most wonderful wife! Thank you, thank you, thank you” cries her Fisho as he hops out the door with his fishing jeans wrapped around his ankles.

The Missus reclines back in bed pondering in what way to best utilize the forth coming brownie points, dinner at a fancy restaurant? Shopping spree? Diamonds even? Heck, who needs sandflies and a damp butt from a sandy beach anyway!!!!!!!

Both parties end up happy, and on the very rare occasion when the Fisho's presence is required ie weddings, funerals and christenings, he has no choice but to oblige when the Missus slams on the fishing brakes and rubs it in about all the other occasions her Fisho has missed.

This Missus learned long ago that fishing is an obsession, and that with a carefully plotted fishing management plan both parties end up happy. After all there is more than one way to bait a hook.

Tight lines and shopping sprees!